How to write an obituary

[Steve Hayes]

Don't make obit a resume [forwarded from alt.obituaries]

Barbara Quirk
The Capital Times (Madison, WI)

December 4, 2007

It seems John Doe passed away. Not to speak ill of the dead, but John
had been a miserly type of guy; his wife Jane had called him cheap.
Although the Does had been married for a long time, it was not a happy
marriage, and no love was lost when John died.

Arrangements for burial were being made, and the funeral director
inquired about the obituary. "Just write 'John Doe was born May 1,
1940, and died June 1, 1999.'" The funeral director explained that
there was a 50-word minimum for the newspaper and the costs would be
the same either way. Without hesitation, the new widow responded, "Add
'Cadillac for sale.'"

The subject of obituaries came up recently. We agreed that many of the
obituaries today read like a resume rather than tell who that person
really was.

One of the women in the group described the obituary of a relative, an
apparently very accomplished and well-known man. "The paper ran a big
story on him with headlines about an inch high, but his actual
obituary was quite short." She went on to explain that this man who
loved photography had traveled to many countries, had written books
and was an authority on art and antiques. Still, his family was able
to say all this in a few short words. "He traveled the world
photographing his adventures," and "His passion for local history was
fulfilled with the publication of two local history books."

We agreed that listing every country traveled and every interest would
have made for a several-column eulogy. Of course, not every family
member can write that tightly, but it is good to have some standards
to aim for.

I spoke with Jim Olle about obituaries. Olle, a Madison resident, is
rather an authority on the subject as he has collected about 1,200 of
them in his pursuit of family history. I asked him what he likes to
find in an obituary.

"It is helpful for me to find all of the names, dates and places and
the names of all of the children and grandchildren. In the pursuit of
genealogy, it is helpful to read about their military history, their
social history, what clubs they belonged to, such as the VFW or the
Elks." Olle believes that when the obituary describes the person's
interests, such as fishing or travel, it gives you a more complete
picture of the person.

Olle, who focuses on his family as German immigrants, follows the line
for three or four generations. "It is fascinating to see how the first
generations lived close to each other and how subsequent generations
start to fan out across the country. Also it's interesting to me to
follow how occupation patterns seem to follow certain families."

I asked about the style of so many lengthy obituaries in Dane County,
and Olle, a retired engineer, just laughed. "This is a university
town," he explained. "These guys are so used to writing for grants and
have a need to throw in all of their credentials."

Scott Kundinger, a manager at Cress Funeral and Cremation Service,
sees more families bringing in the obituary information. Sometimes
more than one family is involved. Traditionally, the information was
straightforward, but lately it is more personal. Cress offers
guidelines for loved ones to fill in the blanks with all of the vital
statistics and the major information such as colleges or schools,
occupation, war service, church and club memberships.

Cress' outline also includes survivors and details of the funeral
service itself. Kundinger suggests that if the date and time of the
services are listed in the obituary, that can present an opportunity
for someone to break in, knowing the house is likely to be empty. It
is wise to have someone stay at the home during those times.

Staff from the funeral home will assist the family in composing the
obituary and will edit it as necessary. Likewise, newspapers have
their own style of presenting the information.

Something to consider is where the obituary should appear. If someone
lived and worked in one community and retired to another, the notice
could appear in several papers.

Kundinger said obituaries are not required, and costs are charged by
the line. And no, there is no minimum length.

Barbara Quirk is a geriatric nurse practitioner.

http://www.madison.com/tct/entertainment/260196
--
Steve Hayes
E-mail: [email protected] (see web page if it doesn't work)
Web: http://hayesfam.bravehost.com/famhist1.htm
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/7783/

[wklager]

On Dec 4, 11:17 am, Steve Hayes <[email protected]> wrote:

Don't make obit a resume [forwarded from alt.obituaries]

Barbara Quirk
The Capital Times (Madison, WI)

December 4, 2007


"It is helpful for me to find all of the names, dates and places and
the names of all of the children and grandchildren. In the pursuit of
genealogy, it is helpful to read about their military history, their
social history, what clubs they belonged to, such as the VFW or the
Elks." Olle believes that when the obituary describes the person's
interests, such as fishing or travel, it gives you a more complete
picture of the person.

Thanks for posting the article.

My Dutch ancestors settled in and near Holland, Michigan in the
1840's. There are a lot of descendants that still live in the area. I
am not one of them. So, every few months I do a search of the archives
at the Holland Sentinel newspaper website. (It goes back to July 1997
and doesn't charge anything to let you see the entire article. I have
been able to find a number of obituaries as well as birth
announcements and engagement announcements this way. The Dykstra
Funeral Homes in the area also have a website and for some people
include a life story. I enjoy finding and reading these. Here is an
example: http://www.lifestorynet.com/memories/4079/

Wendy Klager