Incorrect Obitis

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Pat in Atlanta

Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av Pat in Atlanta » 31 aug 2006 18:05:22

Recently a relative of mind died. The obituary listed eight grandchildren,
none of them whom were biologically hers. Makes me wonder about all those
obits I took for granted as being factually correct.

BlueBrooke

Re: Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av BlueBrooke » 31 aug 2006 18:22:01

On Thu, 31 Aug 2006 12:05:22 -0500, Pat in Atlanta <patga@comcast.net>
wrote:

Recently a relative of mind died. The obituary listed eight
grandchildren,
none of them whom were biologically hers. Makes me wonder about all
those
obits I took for granted as being factually correct.

My own sister's obituary will be worthless to any of her grandchildren
should they decide to do research.

I've always taken them with a grain of salt.

Blue

Huntersglenn

Re: Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av Huntersglenn » 31 aug 2006 22:24:49

An obituary, like a death certificate, is only as accurate as the
knowledge of the person providing the information. Although, with an
obituary, it can go a bit further than accuracy, because quite often
feelings are taken into account. While those grandchildren were not
biologically hers, she and they probably loved one another as if they
were. She might even have wanted them listed that way.

I look at an obituary as just another research avenue, and as such is
something that can lead me in a right direction, but I don't consider it
to be an absolute source.

Cathy

Pat in Atlanta wrote:
Recently a relative of mind died. The obituary listed eight grandchildren,
none of them whom were biologically hers. Makes me wonder about all those
obits I took for granted as being factually correct.


Doug Chadduck

Re: Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av Doug Chadduck » 31 aug 2006 22:59:58

Huntersglenn wrote:
An obituary, like a death certificate, is only as accurate as the
knowledge of the person providing the information. Although, with an
obituary, it can go a bit further than accuracy, because quite often
feelings are taken into account. While those grandchildren were not
biologically hers, she and they probably loved one another as if they
were. She might even have wanted them listed that way.

I look at an obituary as just another research avenue, and as such is
something that can lead me in a right direction, but I don't consider it
to be an absolute source.

Cathy

Pat in Atlanta wrote:
Recently a relative of mind died. The obituary listed eight
grandchildren, none of them whom were biologically hers. Makes me
wonder about all those obits I took for granted as being factually
correct.

Obituaries are about the family of the deceased, not the genetic

relations. I cannot imagine anyone uncaring enough to leave family
members out of an obituary for the sake of genetic correctness. I
consider obits to be factually/family correct, for the most part, and,
since I do family rather than genetic research, I cherish every one I
can find.

Doug

Kevin Ettery

Re: Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av Kevin Ettery » 04 sep 2006 21:30:58

"Doug Chadduck" <dchadduck@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:bYCdne9mWM18xmrZnZ2dnUVZ_v2dnZ2d@comcast.com...
Huntersglenn wrote:
An obituary, like a death certificate, is only as accurate as the
knowledge of the person providing the information. Although, with an
obituary, it can go a bit further than accuracy, because quite often
feelings are taken into account. While those grandchildren were not
biologically hers, she and they probably loved one another as if they
were. She might even have wanted them listed that way.

I look at an obituary as just another research avenue, and as such is
something that can lead me in a right direction, but I don't consider it
to be an absolute source.

Cathy

Pat in Atlanta wrote:
Recently a relative of mind died. The obituary listed eight
grandchildren, none of them whom were biologically hers. Makes me
wonder about all those obits I took for granted as being factually
correct.

Obituaries are about the family of the deceased, not the genetic
relations. I cannot imagine anyone uncaring enough to leave family members
out of an obituary for the sake of genetic correctness. I consider obits
to be factually/family correct, for the most part, and, since I do family
rather than genetic research, I cherish every one I can find.

Doug,

I do know someone uncaring enough. In the obit of my father's cousin Max
there is absolutely no mention of Max's eldest grandson - and yes the entire
family knew he existed.

Ciao


Kevin

Doug Chadduck

Re: Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av Doug Chadduck » 05 sep 2006 01:35:43

Kevin Ettery wrote:
"Doug Chadduck" <dchadduck@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:bYCdne9mWM18xmrZnZ2dnUVZ_v2dnZ2d@comcast.com...
Huntersglenn wrote:
An obituary, like a death certificate, is only as accurate as the
knowledge of the person providing the information. Although, with an
obituary, it can go a bit further than accuracy, because quite often
feelings are taken into account. While those grandchildren were not
biologically hers, she and they probably loved one another as if they
were. She might even have wanted them listed that way.

I look at an obituary as just another research avenue, and as such is
something that can lead me in a right direction, but I don't consider it
to be an absolute source.

Cathy

Pat in Atlanta wrote:
Recently a relative of mind died. The obituary listed eight
grandchildren, none of them whom were biologically hers. Makes me
wonder about all those obits I took for granted as being factually
correct.

Obituaries are about the family of the deceased, not the genetic
relations. I cannot imagine anyone uncaring enough to leave family members
out of an obituary for the sake of genetic correctness. I consider obits
to be factually/family correct, for the most part, and, since I do family
rather than genetic research, I cherish every one I can find.

Doug,

I do know someone uncaring enough. In the obit of my father's cousin Max
there is absolutely no mention of Max's eldest grandson - and yes the entire
family knew he existed.

Ciao


Kevin


I did speak hastily re: "uncaring enough". Given the state of the world

today it is pretty obvious the amount of uncaring people who occupy it.
I should have spoken regarding my inability to comprehend those types.
Whoever controlled Max's obit should be ashamed of themselves. But then
lack of caring and lack of shame seem to often manifest in the same
people. We do what we can.

Doug

Pat in Atlanta

Re: Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av Pat in Atlanta » 05 sep 2006 21:28:45

"Whoever controlled Max's obit should be ashamed of themselves."
Not necessarily. Maybe Max has some big beef with that person and didn't
want his name in the obit.

"Doug Chadduck" <dchadduck@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:QMGdnQbght79W2HZnZ2dnUVZ_qadnZ2d@comcast.com...
Kevin Ettery wrote:
"Doug Chadduck" <dchadduck@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:bYCdne9mWM18xmrZnZ2dnUVZ_v2dnZ2d@comcast.com...
Huntersglenn wrote:
An obituary, like a death certificate, is only as accurate as the
knowledge of the person providing the information. Although, with an
obituary, it can go a bit further than accuracy, because quite often
feelings are taken into account. While those grandchildren were not
biologically hers, she and they probably loved one another as if they
were. She might even have wanted them listed that way.

I look at an obituary as just another research avenue, and as such is
something that can lead me in a right direction, but I don't consider
it to be an absolute source.

Cathy

Pat in Atlanta wrote:
Recently a relative of mind died. The obituary listed eight
grandchildren, none of them whom were biologically hers. Makes me
wonder about all those obits I took for granted as being factually
correct.

Obituaries are about the family of the deceased, not the genetic
relations. I cannot imagine anyone uncaring enough to leave family
members out of an obituary for the sake of genetic correctness. I
consider obits to be factually/family correct, for the most part, and,
since I do family rather than genetic research, I cherish every one I
can find.

Doug,

I do know someone uncaring enough. In the obit of my father's cousin Max
there is absolutely no mention of Max's eldest grandson - and yes the
entire family knew he existed.

Ciao


Kevin
I did speak hastily re: "uncaring enough". Given the state of the world
today it is pretty obvious the amount of uncaring people who occupy it.
I should have spoken regarding my inability to comprehend those types.
Whoever controlled Max's obit should be ashamed of themselves. But then
lack of caring and lack of shame seem to often manifest in the same
people. We do what we can.

Doug

Huntersglenn

Re: Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av Huntersglenn » 05 sep 2006 21:59:46

It could be that the person was left out by accident. You're grieving
when you have to sit down and give that information, so it might not all
be correct, or full. My mother-in-law ended up giving the wrong maiden
name for her grandmother when asked about it for the death certificate.
I wrote up my mother's obituary before she died, to make sure that I
had everyone listed and all the names right, and even after doing over
it twice, I had two names spelled incorrectly (Millie instead of Milly,
and I can't remember the other one now. The typo wouldn't have happened
though, if I hadn't given in to my aunt's insistence to use Milly
instead of Mildred, because all her friends knew her as Milly).

Anyway, where I live, you give the obituary information to the funeral
home, and they write it up and send it to the newspaper. So, not only
is there a chance that you might forget a name, but their secretary can
also leave out a name and it's missed when you read over the typed copy.

Then again, in this particular case, whoever gave the obit information
could have had a grudge against this grandson.
Cathy


Doug Chadduck wrote:
Doug,

I do know someone uncaring enough. In the obit of my father's cousin
Max there is absolutely no mention of Max's eldest grandson - and yes
the entire family knew he existed.

Ciao


Kevin

I did speak hastily re: "uncaring enough". Given the state of the world
today it is pretty obvious the amount of uncaring people who occupy it.
I should have spoken regarding my inability to comprehend those types.
Whoever controlled Max's obit should be ashamed of themselves. But then
lack of caring and lack of shame seem to often manifest in the same
people. We do what we can.

Doug

jj206

Re: Incorrect Obitis

Legg inn av jj206 » 22 sep 2006 01:01:42

Doug Chadduck wrote:

Obituaries are about the family of the deceased, not the genetic
relations. I cannot imagine anyone uncaring enough to leave family
members out of an obituary for the sake of genetic correctness. I
consider obits to be factually/family correct, for the most part, and,
since I do family rather than genetic research, I cherish every one I
can find.

Doug

I thought obituaries were half about the person who died and half just a
listing of living relatives and charities to give to ?

Anyway, I was helping someone look for a kidney donor and they are only
looking for genetic relatives, so accuracy in obituaries are important.
That said, I can think of lots of good reasons why someone would be left
out of the obituary.

1. The person left out requested to not be listed. Their privacy.
2. The person left out was put into the witness protection program.
3. The person left out killed another family member and was disowned.
4. The person left out fought for the other side in the civil war.

These would be valid reasons to leave someone out of the obituary.

Jonathan

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